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The lovely cretures that they are [Me? Bitter? Nah!] "Boys are stupid. They're idiots. Yes, some of them are beautiful idiots, but they're all idiots. They can obey short commands, but beyond that is nothing but frustration." -Unknown
"Boys should be locked away in a corral and only taken out for sex, manual labor, and the occasional good conversation that you get out of them." -Unknown
"Boys are blind. They miss the obvious unless it comes up and bites them on the ass." -Unknown
"God made oceans God made lakes God made men Hey we all make mistakes!!" -Unknown
"It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size." -Unknown
"Men are like tile floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for life." -Unknown
"God must love stupid people.....thats why he created sooo many men!" -Unknown
Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
`GUY'necology
"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure." ~Murphy's Law
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography." ~Robert Byrne
"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle." ~Rita Mae Brown
"The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys." ~Author Unknown
"Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow." ~Author Unknown
"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute." ~Author Unknown
"There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance." ~Author Unknown
"Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve." ~Andy Rooney
"Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." ~Author Unknown
"Did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It had a penis and a brain." ~Author Unknown
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women." ~Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." ~Katherine Hepburn
"I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself." ~Yoko Ono
Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ~Author Unknown
"The more I see of men, the more I like dogs." ~Madame de Stal
"Sometimes I think if there was a third sex men wouldn't get so much as a second glance from me." ~Amanda Vail
"Men are like.....Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last." -Unknown
"Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks." -Laura Swanson
"Men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and all the other ones are handicapped." -Aline Venturin
"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. He just holds the bulb, then waits for the world to revolve around him." -Leedah
"If I were a girl I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of men who deserve them." -Robert Groves
"Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
-Charlotte Whitton
"Men are such babies." -Anastasia [the cartoon]
"Man is seduced by what he sees; woman is seduced by what she hears." -Thomas Aquinas
"Of course God made men before women, you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece." -Unknown
"Women have many faults, but men only have two: everything they say and everything they do." -Unknown
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-Robin Williams
"Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinds like being the guy on a date."
-Caroline Rhea
"Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men." -Joseph Conrad
"The average woman would rather have beauty than intelligence because the average man can see better than he can think." -Unknown
"Guys are like roses, watch out for the pricks." -Unknown
"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs." -Unknown
"If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all?" -Unknown
"Do you know why men have that little hole on the end of their schlong? It's so the oxygen can get to their brains!"
"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."
-Anonymous |
